Swirling Lives
by Weeping Rose
Summary: As Rory lives with the decision that she made to be with Dean that fateful night, Jess learns what adulthood and love truly can be if you just let yourself grow up.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter One: Swirling Leaves  
  
The crisp Connecticut air seemed to whisper slowly to the young woman sitting beneath a perfectly still birch tree. The leaves above her swirled in patters above her head, landing gently on her denim covered lap. Her hair, now grown out since the painful summer, cascaded across her shoulders limply—as though tired of it's life upon her head. Her sparkling blue eyes, once full of joy and abundant life, only held the dull shine of the pain and sorrow that come from betrayal.  
  
The worn out blue jeans and turquoise coloured turtleneck that covered her exhausted frame were full of memories of the past—memories of a joyous childhood and bright days seemed to be all that was left of this young woman's happiness.  
  
Coming out of her dazed expression, her fingers crept gracefully across the wooden bench that balanced her weight and grabbed a silver mug of cider. She raised it to her small pink lips and swallowed the hot liquid, wincing at it's horribly warm temperature pouring down her throat.  
  
Her stomach growled, ravenous for more, and she grabbed the mug to quickly finish off the hot beverage. Wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she carefully packed the mug away into her messenger bag and slung it carefully across her shoulder.  
  
The wind grabbed the newly written letter that hung carelessly out of her bag and tossed it to the cool air high above her head. Her eyes widened as she watched it fly away into the fierce wind, as a sacrifice to the cloudy gray skies above.  
  
"NO!" she whispered falling to her knees, spilling several papers out of her flimsy bag.  
  
From behind a tree, he watched her with his dark eyes as she slowly picked up the old homework papers, each marked with bright red A's. She grabbed magazines with celebrity filled pages and makeup tips and sex-powered advertisements splashed perfectly across every other page. The Yale Newspaper with hypocritical headlines condemning the misuse of government power was also artfully placed back into her bag. And lastly—there was a picture. She grabbed it into her left hand and stared at it, long lashes lowered as she gazed into the faces of the two people.  
  
Her lower lip began to tremble and her eyes filled with tears. A young man stared back at her with eyes full of excitement and love whose arm was carelessly slung over the shoulder of a beautiful young woman. A sweet smile was pasted on her face, and a lacey top graced her beautiful frame. The couple stared back, reminding her of the days when forever had been the prediction of their love...his and hers.  
  
A tear slipped down her cheek as she remembered the way that his lustfilled eyes had stared into hers when they'd been alone for the last time. She'd given in—thinking that this would truly win him back to her side. But all he'd wanted was her body—and after he'd had it, he tossed her away like the trash that she knew she was. He had reduced her to trash, and had taken away the innocent youthful beauty that should have remained hers.  
  
Slowly, her hand went to the bulge barely showing through on her stomach. The young man watched her, his dark eyes widening as his anger grew, frothing and boiling, simmering as he slowly watched her pain. He could no longer hide and took a step aside from the tree that had concealed his presence from her. She looked up and her eyes grew large.  
  
"J-J-J-Jess?" she stammered in painful amazement. "Yeah," he awkwardly whispered gathering as much confidence as possible. Yet, confidence was impossible as he stared into the eyes of the one person that he'd ever loved. He pulled his leather jacket around him protectively as the fierce wind grew stronger.  
  
With no words she took a step towards him, tears forming in her eyes. He winced, thinking that he would probably have to endure the wrath of her anger towards Dean, the man who had truly hurt her. Instead, she pulled him closer to herself and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his jacket.  
  
Awkwardly, he put his arms around her—realizing that he was so in awe of her bravery that he didn't feel worthy to touch the body of one who had another growing slowly inside of her as she sobbed into his jacket.  
  
"Jess," she sobbed feeling the need to explain, "I—"  
  
"Don't explain now," he whispered into her ear pulling her closer, "Just cry."  
  
She continued to sob into the neck of his sweet smelling leather jacket that reminded her so much of him as the Connecticut sky slowly began to weep...pouring rain down as it fell. But wrapped in his arms, she didn't notice a thing.  
  
Okay...that was the first chapter. Wow. This is so cool! I have always wanted to write a Gilmore Girls fic, and now I'm actually doing it. Please R/R (I'm assuming you've read the whole thing if you've gotten this far - , so just review. I really need feedback before I continue with the fic, so please tell me what you think (in detail) and let me know if you think I should continue. Love always  
Weeping Rose 


	2. Memories of the Past

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own "Gilmore Girls". If I did, Milo Ventimiglia would be kidnapped in between takes and become my love slave. **

**Author's Note: You all have been SUCH amazing readers that I made this chapter EXTRA long and I hope that you enjoy it. Remember that this situation has happened if Rory and Dean had not gotten together and if he'd gone off with Lindsay again. Leaving Rory without Lorelei's support because they hadn't made up. ENJOY! PLEAAAASEEE Review. I can't even tell you how much it means…**

**Memories of the Past…**

Lorelei Gilmore signed quietly to herself as she tiptoed down the stairs of the house that she and her boyfriend, Luke, inhabited together. Her curly dark hair fell into her face as she stepped clumsily almost crashing loudly to the floor off of the last stair onto the wooden floor of her living room.

She quickly recovered and put her ice-cold hands to her burning cheeks…thankfully it was dark, and no one could see the blush-attack that her now rosy cheeks were displaying harshly.

The old house creaked and shifted with each step, almost echoing the resounding bliss of her footsteps in the cool, midnight air. It almost felt as though the air held secrets – her memories of the past. Both beautiful and painful alike and the air grew thick with remembrance…of mistakes.

The struggle to breathe weighed heavily upon her chest as she stumbled to the counter, her blue cotton tank top full of the perspiration of pain. Her heart felt heavy, as though it might burst as she opened the perfectly white refrigerator door. She laughed as she stared at it's cleanliness…Luke's hard work scrubbing off the dirt. His incessant need for cleanliness and his desperate attempts to make her feel better, to help her connect with another human being again as closely as she was once with her daughter…

She shook away the thought and swiped her eyes sloppily and harshly with the side of her arm. Reaching her hand in the chilled containment box, she grabbed a glass of unfinished milk along with the leftovers from that night.

"Leftovers….how Rory would laugh if she knew about leftovers—" Lorelei stopped remembering. Her mouth twisted into a grimace as the supposedly refreshing milk tasted sour in her mouth, and the overwhelming desire to throw away the half eaten lasagna made her stomach turn. She pushed away the plate and looked longingly at the old white plastic coffee pot. It seemed to call out to her, begging her to open up to the thoughts that drained her. The thoughts that plagued her once youthful face, bringing with them the creases of worry on her forehead…

She painfully got up and touched the unused coffee pot with her fingertips softly. How she yearned for the past to be undone…her mistakes—one. Why couldn't she fix it?! Why didn't she immediately run to her daughter and embrace her once again? She yearned to take the child that she adored more than life…the beautiful, smart, unintentionally funny, playful daughter into her arms—the place where she belonged. Her quirky smile. Her eyes…how they sparkled when –

"_What_ are you _doing_?" a sleepy deep voice said. Lorelei emerged from her thoughts and found herself with her hand in the running coffee pot.

Luke smiled and wiped the sleep out of his eyes, hair amuck and wild, with a crumpled t-shirt riding up his stomach.

Lorelei smiled and carefully removed her hand from the warm liquid. "Well, Mr. Sexy man…you look completely un-ridiculous in that little Brittany Spears like midriff-baring shirt. That's against the Chilton dress code, Mister!" she grinned.

"I look ridiculous?" he spoke wincingly as he pulled his t-shirt down, "I'm not the one with my hand in a running coffee pot!"

"Hey Luke, Edward Scissorhands called. He wants to know when to schedule the next hair appointment."

"Lorelei!" Luke whispered. "Why is your hand in a coffee pot?"

"It—well, it—" she tried to explain, "I'm, well…I'm cold."

Luke glanced at her knowingly and pulled out a chair. "Alright…" he started with tired compassion. "Let's talk about this so I can get back to sleep."

"We don't HAVE to talk." Lorelei said in a stubborn voice, "No. You can go back to sleep yourself. Don't worry about me. Just go." She pointed upstairs and pouted.

"Lorelei," Luke started, "You know very well that you'll just roll around not sleeping and keeping me awake when you come back up. Then you will proceed to head downstairs after no sleep and watch Chad Michael Murray make an ass of himself in front of some teenage girls on the television, pace back and forth in front of the coffee pot where the floor boards creak and I WON'T be able to sleep at all!"

"You could sleep through a train wreck if you needed to, Luke!" Lorelei countered angrily.

"That's—" he bantered eyes widening, "Not the point. The point is I'll be worried, have terrible sleepless dreams full of horrible things and coffee pots exploding in my face. Let's talk about this NOW." He scratched his scraggly haired chin and ran a strong hand through his messy hair. "Let's talk about this…you're worried. So, I'm worried." He slowly moved his hand on top of hers. "Talk to me." He whispered.

"It's just that--oh God…" Lorelei started as tears formed in her eyes, "I just can't stop thinking about Rory. How is she? Is she okay? Why was I so harsh?" her eyes widened spilling tears down her cheeks, "NO! I was **not** too harsh. He was…he was…married." She looked into Luke's forgiving eyes and whispered, "I don't care anymore. I just…I just miss her. And I want to see her."

Luke sat silently as he watched the tears fall quickly from her eyes. She wept aloud and wondered…he watched her and realized just how radiant she was. The frame of her face was perfect and her hair cascaded down in perfect ringlets. Her eyes were passionate and full of life…they showed him how truly beautiful the world could be. He only wished to see what she saw and feel what she felt. The beautiful creature whose lips met his own deserved the world. And all he was was the son of a hardware salesman.

He wanted to give her the world…he wanted to show her that he loved her more than anyone possibly could. Her happiness made him jubilant, her pain made him sink with her, but the elation that he felt with her was better than anything that he had ever experienced with anyone. He wanted her. Forever.

He leaned across the table and reached his hand across to stroke her cheek. She looked surprised at his gesture but couldn't look away as their eyes met…as they melted together. He stood up quickly and walked around the table and kneeled by her chair. "Call her," he whispered, "There is no way that she doesn't miss you more than anything right now. How could she live without you?" he cleared his throat and looked away, "I know that I sure can't."

Lorelei's mouth dropped at his sudden display of emotion. No words could form on her lips and she couldn't think of one wise crack to make at his beautiful expression of tenderness. She looked and him and sadly smiled whispering, "It might take a little more than that…I said some horrible things."

" No." he firmly said glancing at her once again, "Don't give me those puppy dog eyes either. She probably misses you more than anything…"

Lorelei smiled and slowly leaned down and kneeled next to Luke on the floor. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled herself safely against the radiating warmth of his body. She pulled her face to his neck and whispered as her mournful words mixed with the saltiness of her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she rocked back and forth, slowly pouring out her sorrows into his chest.


End file.
